Charlie Sheen Engaged to Lada Gaga: Wedding at 2012 Academy Awards

2012 Academy Award Nominations: Kendra Wilkenson, Joan Rivers, Steve Buscemi, Kimora, Kim Kardashian, Ricky Martin, Prince Harry, Charlie Sheen

Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino Leads Jersey Transvestite Parade

Heather Graham, Miles Austin, Brian Cushing, Elle Mc Pherson, Wendy Williams, Steve Forbes, Mike the Situation, Martha Stewart, Vida Guerra, Andrew Fastow, Dennis Rodman

Celebrity Affairs & Bastard Children.wmv

Sarah Palin, Gene Simmons, Mike Tyson, Anderson Cooper, Tom Cruise, Suj the Alien, Barbara Walters, Kathy Griffin, Joan Rivers, Katie Holmes, Shaq O'Neal, Tom Green, George Bush Jr.

Also Featured: Hot Alien Bitches and Mean Alien Dudes!

Julia Roberts Receives 2011 Bad Teeth Award to Host 2012 AVN Porn Show

Amy Winehouse, Jewel, Daniel Radcliffe, Avril Lavigne, Julia Roberts, Madonna,

Steve Buscemi, John Heder

7 Grossly Appropriate Celebrity Tattoos

Ricky Martin’s tattoo above his ass reads: “Blood Mary” because he likes it up the pooper.  For the record, I knew he was gay back in 1999 because no straight guy smiles that much, dances that well, and is that happy.

Kendra has a new tattoo above her pussy: “Dark Meat Only” because she doesn’t like white guys. The good news is that Kendra is as famous as Michael Jordan: Kendra is known around the world by only her first name - not bad for a lush, country girl.  Please Kendra you are a mom now!

R.Kelly recently got a tattoo above his dick: “Sleep Little Baby” because he likes it when adolescents suck his dick and fall asleep.  At the Grammys R.Kelly is doing his secret wave to the kiddies, but also hoping that the police don't recognize him! He’s "Count RiDICKulous."

 J-Lo’s tattoo above on her stomach reads: “Eight is Enough.”  Since she’s been married four times, she has four to go. Quatro + Quatro = Ocho!  I guess J-Lo is going to marry Ocho Cinco.  Then she’ll be in the Elizabeth Taylor Club. Skank! The good news is that her ass is big enough for her soon to be eight tattoos of her eight husbands.

Heath Legder got a post-mortem tattoo, “Gone and Easily Forgotten.”  He sucked as an actor!

Piers Morgan’s Tattoo reads, “I Pay for Pussy,” which is the same one that Larry King received.  Piers’ wife had to marry him for money.  Piers states, “I’m never embarrassed,” but his body language delivers a different message as Piers shrugs his shoulders when standing next to his beautiful wife.  That’s the Larry King look stating, “This bitch is too hot for me!”  In this photo Piers looks like a fat kid in a candy store. I also noticed that he's wife is less gratuitous with her smiles than Piers when they pose together - hmmm rather foretelling.

Rachel Ray has a new tattoo on her “itty-bitty-titty” chest, which reads, “Phone Home” because she looks, walks and talks like E.T.  This is from Rachel's FHM shoot.  I knew she was too good to be true - every woman is a slut inside.

Hey, that's a good thing. Rachel is an Oprah "Minnie-me," or "Wanna-be," but I can't see Oprah doing a FHM shoot - Thank God as least someone of TV has sense.  

Joan Rivers: Black Widow to Men and Family

Is anyone actually happy that the old bitch is back on television?  There is a theory that Joan Rivers is an angry African American – Jewish transvestite whose long lost son is RuPaul. Joan does behave like an angry old man! Perhaps Joan’s penis is why she scares away men. Melissa, her only child that we know of for sure, refuses to work with “Mommy Dearest” for mental health reasons.  Joan’s constant criticism in every sentence that she spews at Melissa has resulted in her struggles with depression, anxiety, and anorexia.

This is nothing new for Joan, who has proverbially poisoned to two husbands.  Her first marriage was to James Sanger, who was the son of a Bond Clothing Stores executive where Joan worked as somewhat of a stylist. The marriage only lasted SIX MONTHS and was granted an annulment.  Joan’s story is that James did not inform her that he did not want children. 

This explanation is sketchy and high implausible given that she’s from a Westchester County Jewish family (old money) and attended pricey colleges.  Rarely are paramount marital details left to chance in solid Jewish families, where success in all of life’s compartments is highly expected.  James did come from a successful family after all.  A reasonably hypothesis is that James did not want children with Joan.  After six months of marriage, I would have drawn the same conclusion!

Joan’s second marriage to Edgar Rosenberg, also an opportunistic union, lasted 22 years.  There is an ominous cloud involving the cause of Edgar’s death.  Joan once again provides an odd explanation for his apparent suicide of overdosing on depression medicine.  Joan states that Edgar was taking the prescriptions as a result of a heart attack in 1984.  Edgar was only 65 when he died in 1987.  The biggest whole in Joan’s story is why would a supposedly depressed man who has fully recovered from a heart attack yet working steadily for three years following his cardiac infarction commit suicide!

The real reason that Edgar Rosenberg committed suicide was that Joan Rivers was fired from late show with Fox Television.  Joan’s extraordinary difficult, demanding, and condescending personality drove Edgar into depression and “apparent suicide” only six months after she was fired.  His career did not hit a road bump, her career did.  She had burned down so many bridges with almost all of the networks which she still complains about to this very day.  

The past also haunts Melissa as she has stated on numerous occasions, “Marriage makes me feel trapped like I have a noose around my neck."  What would cause Melissa to have these extreme feelings and psychology baggage unless her parents had a contentious marriage, which is highly probable given the pathetic ways that Joan interacts with her daughter.  Melissa appears to have anxiety attacks everyday that she and Joan are in the same household.  Joan is also ridiculously obnoxious by attempting to live vicariously through Melissa by pushing her to get married and have a second child.  Enjoying a long-term successful marriage with multiple children were accomplishments that Joan never possessed.

Joan is indeed a poisonous arachnid to her only daughter as well as men. In college, Joan studied archeology of all subjects. Perhaps she wanted to learn how to live forever. Joan has been having plastic surgeries since 1965.  She will probably out live the roaches.  Joan has undergone so many injections in her face that nasty gooey shit will come out of her face like when a roach is crushed. 

It’s Time to be Frank with Bethenny Frankel - Narcissistic Bitch

It’s Time to be Frank with Bethenny Frankel - Narcissistic Bitch

Bethenny Frankel’s divorce clock is moving at the speed of light, by her own doing of course. Her issues have become an excuse for her narcissistic behavior.  In moments of deep reflection or intense instability she realizes that her marriage is a one way road to ‘Bethenny Land,’ but she does nothing to remedy the situation other than repeat her mantra of “I’m not going to feel guilty that you do more than me” and “I’m not the crazy one.” The truth is that she is suffering at the hands of her own subconscious.

This is her second lopsided marriage, by her own account saying that “I loved him because he loved me so much,” when commenting about her first marriage.  Her marriage to Jason Hoppy is a carbon copy of her first mistake.  She fails to realize that she cannot have it all – no one can.  She is self absorbed with her career, which is focused on helping other women improve their lifestyle and self esteem.

Bethenny fails to recognize that she is codependent upon her ability to help others by living vicariously through her fans and clients.  She’s providing the support to others that she never received.  The truth is that Bethenny will never be fulfilled by grandiose achievements.    

Bethenny’s therapist is a wuss for not speaking the truth. Most therapists are afraid to be frank with patients.  His weaknesses are further impacted by the presence of the television cameras, because he does not want to make Bethenny appear to be issue laden, which could hurt her brand.

The truth is that Bethenny Frankel is a hurt, insecure person, who is refusing to deal with her humanity, her weaknesses, her responsibilities as a wife and mother, and the need for humility as she undertakes real change.  Bethenny often states that Jason is perfect etc, but she refuses to trust his judgment concerning everyone’s needs. Instead she is combative, which manifests her desire to maintain a strangle hold on important issues such as creating a relationship based on equity when it comes to Jason’s needs, his family’s needs, and maintaining a balanced lifestyle.

Bethenny’s narcissism has convinced her that she knows best and she uses excuses like “I’m just a difficult person – you married me, so deal with it!” Recently on the Rachel Ray show, she royally embarrassed her husband by seeking the approval of Rachel Ray about her hectic schedule. Of course Rachel agreed that it’s kosher to have dinner at 12:00 midnight and be a workaholic – She doesn’t have children.  Moreover, it was a childish scenario to propose because Rachel’s husband is not the same person as Jason.

Bethenny’s issues will not only affect Jason. Soon Bryn will also be short changed as it is unrealistic to believe that Bethenny will alter her ways for her daughter, but not her husband. Bethany repeatedly states that she and Jason are complete opposites. They should have known that opposites don’t attract, they divorce!